Acquaintance Maintenance

by OsKillah



Don't get dropped into the Friend Zone. Make moves.


Hey my brotha
Let’s go get some extra crispy fries
Bring your girl too
I need someone to undress with my eyes

Not digging that idea?
Must I remind you?
I had her before you did
Threw her out like rind dude

I dressed up like a doctor
walked into an abortion clinic
coathanger in my hand
chugging a jug of Triaminic

the ladies eyes wide
especially you’re girl, g
all hacking and wheezing
I’ll have to charge a cough fee

Oh please meas 25, feel change
give me the keys, jeez
If we get stopped
I’ll fake being attacked by bees

Sure I’ll drive you
Cuz I’m your pal
I see more in you than
Shallow Hal

But I don’t see me
Literally that is
When I use a brush
There’s a lot of frizz

But in this biz
Sometimes ya gotta swiz
My dream is cover your face in

Soothing oils and lotions ------ meas 33, add piano
Cucumbers on your retinas
I got those relaxing motions
The goal is to be getting ya

Out of them trousers meas 37
Heat from my mouth like
Fire from Bowser’s

But please don’t jump
Please don’t dodge
The closest I’ll get to your room
Is the garage

Chorus: Meas 43
You’ve been dropped into the friend zone
You’re never getting’ to the end zone

Girl, you’re a delicate relic Meas 51 solo
But I took too long to tell it
Replicate a mustache ride like magnum p.i.
I’m a mini tom selleck

The only mystery I see
Why make another normal friend out of me?
A potential boyfriend, at first, wouldn’t have chose
To tell you about that booger hanging in your nose

Slim pickins meas 59
What in the dickens!
Trying to find a rad chick is hard
Like roller skates made out of live chickens
Gotta make sure you wear a mouth guard

Didn’t let you pick the destination
But going shopping sounds terrible
hold up a skirt to me, as a joke
Not necessarily unwearable

Looking back on it meas 67
The mistakes were mine
Picked you up at 3 pm
Instead of nine

Should have set my watch
On military time
Didn’t know what to say
Like an unpainted mime

Could have taken you to sushi meas 71
Wouldn’t treat you sloppily
bad choice duet
of monotonous monopoly

I don’t mean to babble on
Rivers of Babylon
I also dabble in scrabble
The battle’s on I’ll tattle on

You, cuz you’re winning this war
And I have no excuse
Wish I could pleasure a chick
Like a silver bullet & charlotte russe

Meas 81

Chorus meas 83

Dream vibes Meas 91
All these fails make me start to dream meas 97 stop on 98

I tidy up my mansion meas 101
Must be prepared
Hoping an organ of my body
Is about to be shared

My hearts beats quickly
Like a bat out of hell
A ring of my doorbell
Two Mademoiselles!
Ones a brunette
About 5’ 10” but loves to shred
The other, not full on blonde
She’s got a slight touch of red

I present a fine meal
Of course I baked some bread
Suggest the living room to chill
They choose the bedroom instead
Go to my cabinet to grab the best measure 117
Wine I own, in the room I hear them
Complimenting each others chest
Glad I brushed my teeth with crest

Pop the cork of mr. tabor hill
When I look at them I almost spill
Did I mention they’re a little bit older?
Dress straps playfully slide of shoulders

I still wanna keep it classy meas 125, add piano bass line
So I pour some cups and we hit up a toast
The blonde, stereotypically
Is a bit clumsier than most

The sound I hear is not a typical clink
More of a thunderous crash
Goldilocks got wine on my Persian rug
& broke her crystal glass

the vibe stayed high,
they entertained each other while I cleaned it up
that night I satisfied my favorite kind of ladies
two girls with one cup


released November 7, 2011



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OsKillah South Lake Tahoe, California

Chillin' with no fillin' while I be grillin'.

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