She was a shredder chick
I couldn’t find a better chick
She stole my heart
Lookin steezy in the park
----------
Watching videos of snowboard girls
Trying to fall in love
But then I hear a noise
Something coming from above

I suspect
There’s an addict in my attic
If it’s trying to attack
Ima dish out a Flat kick

Like Capita
I think I’m going spastic
When you’re out of resources
Measures get drastic

Decide to ignore
Back to drooling over Peep show
I fantasize seeing
Ladies mashing through that deep snow
But then resounding sound
Strikes even louder
I stand up from my chair
Pause the girly powder

My name’s OsKillah so meas 34
Come on down
I wanna turn your sideways smile into an upside down frown!

I loudly say, hoping it’s a lady today
Not even worried about a criminal who wants an OsKillah fillet

She shows her frontside, now that’s a start
Then her backside, my favorite part
------------------------
Full 360 view
Now my brain is fried
Cortex in a vortex
And her stance is pretty darn wide

She seems ready
A smorgasbord of sporty spice
She wants it deep
In the pow, not on the ice

Brief break meas 54

Chorus meas 56
She was a shredder chick
I couldn’t find a better chick
She stole my heart
Lookin steezy in the park

Break: One man’s trash is another man’s treasure meas 64
I watch shred videos for sexual pleasure

Finally she speaks measure 68
Her name is jillian
She appears (quick) to use her tongue like a
Vaudevillian reptilian

Straight to business
She wants to make a bargain
But it’s hard to understand this
Dragon’s jargon

She’s not a lizard for real but measure 76
There’s some on her forehead
I assume her request will likely
Fill me up with some more dread

She tells me the story
It really was dramatic
Hit a cliff, bounced off a tree, and crashed into my attic
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just need a place to stay, okay? Meas 84
Only for a couple days
Rest my bones & energize
Her pants have vents up to her thighs

This sounds amazing
My eye meets up her stare
But gotta be legit
Keep it fresh like tupperware

Well, I’ll need some collateral
So give me your adderal
I don’t even know you
Can I trust you or at least bone you?

She missed the last part
Then admits to an addiction, yes
Not to drugs, but to a switch back 5
Or sick tail press
--------------------
Addicted to the shred. X4 meas 102


I was way off man meas110
Now my face is cheesin’, smilin’, smirkin’,
Seeing her differently
To my benefit, this could be workin’!

She gives me the old up and down
Hope she thinks I’m not fat
Opens her mouth (quick) and says
If you were a jib, I’d hit that

Chorus meas 118

I wonder if her roast beef smells like stalefish X2

She gets the train rolling meas 134
Invading my vicinity
I’m about to lose my
Shredder addict chick virginity

Kinda cold and nervous
Try not to fart, fool
Luckily my business socks
Are made out of Smart wool

I love backflips meas 142
I try back lips
Quick shred road trips
Let’s hit some hips
But I’ll be nice to yours
Cuz yours are sexy
Get my tripod going
My boards pretty flexy

She tells me to grab a mute
Be quiet
We are gonna stomp some tricks you
Haven’t even tried yet

Don’t know what to say
Again my mind boggles
She’s kinkier than I thought
Wants us both to wear goggles

Dropping in measure 156 – half time
I politely nosepress her box
Double melon grab as i
Put my P-tex in her core shots

Made it past the knuckle
I get a grip (quick) on that tail
It only takes a few tries til she is
Riding my rail

(silence) measure 164
Alright enough with the snowboard lingo innuendos, Let’s just say, I did a stiffy and she got really boned out

Meas 169
Jazz:
The next morning is beautiful
My head is doing a pillow line
But my d feels like it was scrubbed for a long time with a
brillo, fine

I could not believe my eyes when she
Lipslid my polejam
For breakfast, some chicken salad or
maybe a whole ham

she had a
Radical clavicle
I wish I had an attic full
After that, I’ll take a sabbatical

Outside looks blue bird
But little did I know, the blue bird, like a new nerd with few words, would drop a huge turd
------------------------------------------------

Dun dun dunnn! Meas 196?

Wait, where’s all my shred gear? Bird noises?

Like an Egyptian gypsy
She must have jipped me quickly
Feeling like a cactus
Green, sickly, & prickly

My mittens missing
My Von Zipper FuBars, too
look out my window
she even stole my Subaru!

Robbed by a robber
Who slobbered on my knobber
A thieving homerun derby
And I must have tossed a lobber

If I can’t be a shredder
We’ll see what will happen
In the meantime, I’ll just keep on
Rappin and tappin

Addicted to the shred.